Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values.
The only way we can ever feel happy and fulfilled in the long term is to live in accordance with our true values. If we don’t, we’re sure to experience intense life dissatisfaction or numbness.
How would you define your values?
Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work. The decisions you make are a reflection of your values and beliefs. They determine your priorities, and, deep down, they’re probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.
Values are usually fairly stable, yet they don’t have strict limits or boundaries. Also, as you move through life and change, your values may change.
Exercise: Take a moment right now, and discover from this list which of these values are the most important to you? Simply rewrite the list in your order of importance, with 1 being the emotional state you hold as most important, and 10 being least important.
Ask yourself: “what is that you want to experience every day of your life”?
VALUES
What are your 5 highest values? Prioritise in order of what’s important to you.
| Security | Time Freedom | Financial Challenge |
| Success | Love | Challenge |
| Adventure | Passion | Intimacy |
| Comfort | Productivity | Environment |
| Beauty | Giving/Service | Friends |
| Family | Primary Relationship | Respect |
| Integrity | Achievement | Being the Best |
| Intelligence | Health | Fitness |
| Honesty | joy | Play |
| Inner peace | Courage | Empowerment |
| Learning | Spirituality | Independence |
| Creativity | Personal Growth | Leadership |
| Authenticity | Adventure | Balance |
| Bravery | Compassion | Challenge |
| Curiosity | Determination | Fairness |
| Freedom | Friendships | Fun |
| Geneorisity | Growth | Honesty |
| Integrity | Justice | Kindness |
| Knowledge | Leadership | Learning |
| Optimism | Recognition | Respect |
| Community | Loyalty | Openness |
| Responsibility | Security | Self-Respect |
| Social Connection | Spirituality | Stability |
| Status | Wealth | Wisdom |
Then, designate 3 – 5 words that most resonate, inspire and excite you.
| Accomplish | Confirm | Express | Master | Resonate |
| Acquire | Connect | Extend | Measure | Respect |
| Act | Construct | Facilitate | Mediate | Restore |
| Add | Contact | Finance | Model | Return |
| Administrate | Continue | Forgive | Mold | Revise |
| Adopt | Coordinate | Foster | Motivate | Safeguard |
| Advance | Counsel | Further | Move | Satisfy |
| Advise | Create | Gather | Negotiate | Save |
| Affect | Decide | Generate | Nurture | Sell |
| Affirm | Defend | Give | Open | Serve |
| Alleviate | Delight | Grant | Organise | Share |
| Amplify | Deliver | Guide | Participate | Shelter |
| Analyse | Demonstrate | Heal | Pass | Speak |
| Appreciate | Devise | Help | Perform | Spread |
| Ascend | Direct | Hold | Persuade | Stand |
| Assist | Discover | Host | Play | Support |
| Associate | Discuss | Identify | Practice | Surrender |
| Believe | Distribute | illuminate | Praise | Sustain |
| Bestow | Draft | implement | Prepare | Take |
| Brighten | Dream | Improve | Present | Tap |
| Build | Drive | Improvise | Produce | Teach |
| Call | Educate | Inform | Progress | Team |
| Cause | Elect | Inspire | Promise | Touch |
| Change | Embrace | Integrate | Promote | Trade |
| Choose | Empower | Involve | Provide | Translate |
| Claim | Encourage | Join | Pursue | Travel |
| Coach | Engage | Keep | Realize | Understand |
| Collect | Engineer | Know | Reclaim | Use |
| Combine | Enhance | Launch | Reduce | Utilize |
| Command | Enlighten | Lead | Refine | Validate |
| Communicate | Enlist | Learn | Reflect | Value |
| Compel | Enliven | Light | Reform | Volunteer |
| Compete | Entertain | Live | Relate | Work |
| Complete | Enthuse | love | Relax | Write |
| Compliment | Evaluate | Make | Release | Yield |
| Compose | Excite | Manage | Remember | |
| Conceive | Explore | Mnifest | Renew |
Whatever your values are, they affect the direction of your life. If someone’s number-one value is freedom, followed by passion, adventure, and power, you know you’re going to make different decisions than someone whose top values are security, comfort, intimacy, and health.
Looking to improve your relationship? Make sure you share similar values and your needs are met.
Go through this exercise with your partner. What are you partner’s values, goals, needs? If you don’t want the same things for the future, what kind of future can you have? Don’t worry, you will never end up with your clone, but ideally your partner should be someone who complements your personality, otherwise a relationship will crumble without more complex attributes like shared values.
To identify your and your partners need click here.