- Love does not = relationship
- Every relationship requires communication
- Sometimes you are talking to a wounded child, not a mature adult.
- Step to Non-Violent Communication
- an objective observation,
- the feeling that is created,
- an underlying need that is not met, and
- that makes a doable request which is specific in time and place (in short, an OFNR … Observation, Feeling, Need, Request).
It goes like this:
- State an observation that is factual (when you … e.g. showed up late, did not keep your promise, etc.);
- Describe the feeling that was created for you— which is called owning your feelings or making an “I statement”—such as (I felt … e.g. irritated);
- Explain the need that was not met (because I have a need for … e.g. respect for my time); and
- Make a doable request that is specific in time and place (would you be willing to … e.g. call me on my cell 15 minutes ahead when you are late next time?). If the answer is no, you can either make another request (would you be willing to … e.g. accept that I won’t wait for you and meet you later at …) or state in the same structure how you feel about her