Boundaries are ‘standards’ and ‘limits’ people set in order to create a healthy sense of personal space.
Guards are very different from ‘boundaries’. Guards are walls made of mistrust, defensiveness and an intent to preserve yourself. Boundaries are set from a place of self-love, self-respect, self-responsibility and incredibly needed for a healthy emotional, energetic and physical exchange with other people.
The dictionary definition of boundaries states that they are: guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for him- or herself what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how he or she will respond when someone steps outside those limits.”
There are a few signs that can indicate to you that your boundaries become weakened in relationships and communication with other people:
- You are not in touch with how you feel. You are either avoiding, dismissing or suppressing your feelings.
- You abandon your needs.
- You don’t assert a clear yes or no, or simply agree to keep the peace and avoid conflict or confrontation.
- Feelings of guilt, shame, fear, or unworthiness weight you down.
- You may feel exhausted, overwhelmed, burned out or not appreciated and taken for granted.
- You feel directionless, confused, disconnected from your intuition and inner knowing.
- You minimize or criticize yourself, play small, or hide.
Weak boundaries can trigger another reaction – anger, defensiveness, resentment and disconnection. Like a wide-open door of your house can attract uninvited guests, causing you distress, your non-existent or weak boundaries will attract intruders of your personal space, forcing you to put up guards.
How often do you feel shut off, with guards up and barricades around your heart and personal space?
What does it mean for you to allow yourself to express yourself fully, powerfully, and clearly?
What if you detachment yourself from other’s reactions, releasing your fear of hurting other’s feelings?
When you realise that each person is responsible for their feelings and emotions, you can allow yourself to express what’s on our mind and feeling safe to share.
Releasing attachment to the outcome and releasing the fear of being seen – by clients, family, friends and others will create inner safety and connection to your truth will give you courage.